这个问题小时候想过，也就那么一想，然后就忘了，只能说是一种好奇。人死了是什么样子呢？
现在又想自杀了。活着没有任何意义，现在活着只是为了父母，其他没有任何事情没有任何人值得我留恋。不想活着增加地球的负担，不想再看那么多的人，不想看那么多 的楼，喘不过气来。想出去旅游，但是到处人满为患。想出家当和尚，但是现在寺庙也只知道挣钱，全是假和尚。想找个安静的处所都是奢望。天天活的没有什么可 开心的。
小时候想过，想当电影里的英雄，想功成名就，想娶个贤惠的老婆，想过白头偕老，但是长大了，看明白了，这些都是人们的美好想象，像泡沫一样，只不过这个泡沫比较持久，美丽但是很脆弱。世界上没有永恒的这个情那个情，只有永恒的利益。这是人的劣根性也是社会的劣根性，谁也避免不了，谁 也不是神。
现在人们都在忙什么，忙忙碌碌的；又都在空虚什么，无所事事。人为什么要有情感，要有思想，为什么自寻烦恼。
我觉得我逐渐的有精神压抑，活着是精神分裂。总是在压抑自己，在强迫自己努力，但是目标渺茫，终究是为了什么，我也不知道。感觉很疲惫，身体累，心理更累，压抑的太久，又无法释放，只能继续压抑，像在一个黑暗的迷宫，没有出口。
怎么自杀？我想我会选择枪杀活着跳悬崖。不过枪杀比较容易，不会有什么意外失手。跳悬崖如果挂到树上就不好了，跳楼会砸到别人，不好。一瞬间的事情，从哪里 来，回哪里去，不带走任何多余的东西。从世界上小时，永远的停留在梦境，也是美好的，解脱了。我会等父母过世了再这么做的，那个时候就没有任何人为我伤 心。这样挺好的。我会带着一个问题去自杀，会带着一种考究的心理去自杀，看过CUBE这个电影么？人活在三维空间，但是理论上是有四维甚至多维空间的，人活在这个空间里，或许死了以后就会到另外的空间里去。自杀了，就什么都明白了。
我挺羡慕简单的生活，因为如果思维简单，就不会去想那么多复杂的问题，或许也不会想如何自杀，为什么自杀等等问题。人如果知道了太多的东西，对未来的预想知道的太多，会想的越多，然后就越复杂，越捉摸不透。但是这个世界充满了诱惑，充满了黄赌毒，充满了欺骗。活着的意义在哪里？
" I can't make it through school, I cause my family problems and I can't keep a gal in my life. I'm a failure in everything that is important to me. The only way out of this is to die.
How can I trust anyone? I want to say goodbye to mom and sis. You are my family and mean more to me than my life. I'm sorry I have caused you so many problems and fights. Mom I wish I could've been the person you and Dad wanted me to be. But I'm not handsome, athletic, or skinny. I know that you and Dad never wanted me when I was born and I wish like hell that I never was born. I can't do anything right and all I do is cause the rest of the family to fight.Why can't I have a talk with anyone. You're all so busy and here I sit.
Please someone do something so I can't feel the hurt anymore. I hurt so bad, what can I do? I'm trying to watch TV but I don't know what I'm watching. It's so lonely here. I want to sleep but it just won't come. I'm so tired of hurting and being a lone. I keep thinking about the pills in the cabinet but I'm scared. My head hurts so much from crying but if I take anything for it I'm scared I won't stop and I would want to stop.
Nobody cares why should I? I cause problems for everyone I care about so why should I stay. Why am I such a terrible person. Nothing I do is right. I don't understand. I don't have any choice in the matter. To make everything better I have to die. I can't make it right by living. I'm so scared I want out but oh I don't know. I'm so fat, ugly and stupid, how can I expect me to be able to do anything right? I've failed at everything.
There is nothing for me here. I don't want to go on. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Please believe me. I love you all so very much, and I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm so cold, please do something. I can't stand this empty feeling that I'm having. My head is horrible. Stop the pounding it hurts so much. I have no control over anything in my life. I'm breaking into pieces. "
Perhaps citidel can solve your problem :D
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